The Twelve Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me "
I'm glad we bought fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree"
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard,
As we tucked into our turkey, a most delicious bird.
On the third day of Christmas we had people from next door,
The turkey tasted just as good as it had the day before.
Day four, relations came to stay, poor gran is looking old,
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold.
On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes flurried,
But we were nice and warm inside, we ate the turkey curried.
On the sixth day, I admit, the Christmas spirit died,
The children fought and bickered, we ate turkey rissoles fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave a wince,
When we sat down at the table, we were offered turkey mince.
Day eight, our nerves were getting frayed, the dog had run for shelter,
I served twenty turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka Seltzer.
On day nine our cat left home, by lunch time dad was blotto!
He said he had to have a drink to face turkey risotto.
By the tenth day the wine was gone, except for our home-made brew.
As if that wasn't bad enough, we suffered turkey stew.
On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting,
The mince pies were as hard as rocks, the turkey was revolting.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, dad smacked his lips,
The guests had gone, the turkey too. We dined on fish & chips.