That Village Assembly
Including: GEOFFREY'S HALF-HOUR
THE ANNUAL VILLAGE ASSEMBLY is of course the one occasion of the year when the Sports & Recreation Committee really star, almost to the point of a heartfelt standing ovation when their spot is announced. Who?? we hear you cry. But don't they always forget to come?
Precisely!! You see, our Assembly can be a bit of a marathon, and as the hours roll by but the items on the agenda don't, participants can console themselves in happy anticipation of those golden words: "Item 13. The Sports & Recreation Committee. What, no report? Not here? (the Chairman always feigns surprise) Well, on to the next.. "
In fact, there are quite extraordinary numbers of people and things necessary for the good-running of our little village, and lots of chestnuts old (mostly) and new (very occasionally) to be considered at the Assembly. Affordable housing, the new football ground, the School, buses, traffic, waste-collection, street-lights, sign-posts, fire-stations, our Parish, County and District representatives, the Village Hall, the Parochial Charities, the Scouts, the Youth Club, the evil "Parish Plan", the National Trust and its evil plans: everything/body has to be crammed in somehow.
But whereas presenters generally have brevity down to a fine art - short, and sometimes even entertaining reports, with additional facts on printed handouts - the audience has no such inhibitions. Yes, for once we have these people in our sights: why is this, what is that, when will someone do something about it. The point of a village meeting of course, and this one was no exception.
It kicked off with 20 present, rose to nearly 30 with a picturesque invasion of fully-uniformed Scouts (now becoming a regular intermission) and then tailed off steepishly after our Councillors left, leaving a loyal band wishing to raise further chestnuts at Open Question Time. This item is cunningly contrived to occur right at the end of the meeting, and this works every time. Any Questions is short, Any Answers practically monosyllabic: the Assembly, with the Lion Snug firmly in its sights, is already half-way to the door.
But did you enjoy it Mrs Lincoln? Well YES as a matter of fact, a marathon well worth the effort. Our PC and Village Orgs do a Good Job, Hastoes Affordable- Superior-Architecture Housing Association was really quite convincing; lots of interesting happenings and snippets in our midst, lots of opportunities for everyone to ask/congratulate/commiserate/moan about it all, and particularly good having our Councillors there, who were very informative, very ready to take matters up elsewhere, and only a pity they had to leave after their presentations (perhaps we should put them on at the end).
And the real star of the show? Geoffrey Woollard of course, whose entertaining interventions may have drawn the meeting out a tad (or two, hence our subtitle) but were well worth having. Geoffrey v. The Mighty National Trust. Who shall we back to win? No contest there: Geoffrey every time.