The Swaffham Crier Online

The Song of the Wall Measurer

One day a man came into the office, and without preamble, began to measure the walls. I wondered what the 'Gilbert and Sullivan' he could be about, so I moved in closer until I could hear him singing quietly to himself the following plaintive air:-

"I've a folding wooden rule

And my only other tool

Is a pencil. Yes, a pencil.

And I measure any wall

With no excuse at all

That's essential, that's essential.

 

I'm impelled by strange desire,

So I can't help but enquire

If you've any little wall that I might measure.

But there will be some delay,

Don't expect me there today,

In my job, I've very little leisure."

 

And when the song was done,

And the man had upped and gone,

And order had descended as of yore;

There was a sense of calm,

As though he'd left a soothing balm,

Whilst the walls looked as they had an hour before.

Ophir