Alternative Medicine
Ophir once attended a series of health lectures at Burwell Village College, and every week the lecturer complained about his own health problems. So he was inspired to write the following lines:
I have a Hypnotherapist,
Who goes everywhere with me;
And all I give him is his keep
Plus a large retaining fee.
But what he gives me in return,
Is a certain peace of mind;
For by and large I look on him
As a very lucky find.
He has some trouble with his feet,
And a slightly curving spine,
One of his arms is not too good,
(But there's nothing wrong with mine)
His back's inclined to give him pain,
And his neck bone's out of line;
His hip joint's slightly out of place,
(But there's nothing wrong with mine).
He smokes a lot, and eats too much,
(His stomach bulges fine);
He has some water on his knee,
(But there's nothing wrong with mine)
I treat him as a Good Luck Charm,
For if ever I fall ill,
Although I haven't used him yet,
He'll be there to take my pill.