The Village Variety Show
NOT A RABBIT IN SIGHT but in his place a multi-themed performance. A "Two Ronnies" tribute act by Mark Lewinski and Andrew Noyes was the theme for the first act but only, they told us, for the first act ("a game of two halves, Ron"?). Running alongside this and throughout was the religious joke, appropriately for a church fund-raiser, and centrepieced by Frank Readhead mid-way through the first act. But should Frank have started his act by noting that "protestants don't have a sense of humour, and I'm a protestant"?
The second act was to be given over to an altogether different kind of presenter, not it must be admitted unknown to the editors, who rattled things along with the occasional Paxmanesque aside: "and now for another tear-jerking song" - pause - "but that's because it's sad!". Which was true but unfortunately open to misinterpretation.
The children of the village did us proud with a variety of singing, dancing and playing of musical instruments. But, with a very few honourable exceptions, grown-ups where were you? Will you only perform when Hilary is there to organise you into doing so?
Was the raffle rehearsed? After a long run of tickets in the 500s, which prompted the Crier's editor-in-chief, an eminent statistician in her spare time, to note the statistical improbability of this sequence. But we were soon to discover that this was just the set-up for the best religious joke of the evening: the final winning number was 666. And the winner with great good humour was Betty Prime.
The finale didn't quite come off as intended. Our compere was going to introduce the Vicar at the end with a reference back to Frank's act but the Vicar (perhaps wisely?) reached the stage first. And then unexpectedly, the "Two Ronnies" returned to compensate for, as they explained, a too short second act. And finally, communal singing. The rabbit and friends never managed that.