The Swaffham Crier Online

Hockey Notes

Christmas Eve, only six hockey players, and I'm trying not to panic. Drop in to The Red Lion to try to scoop up some unsuspecting innocent. Lorraine and Dave were there and saved the day. "We'll play" they both said, "and we'll get you others." On the morning of the match Lorraine arrived with a car load of hunky flesh, announced she was not playing herself but had brought along three big blokes who she reckoned were just about equal to one of her. Another trooper was Catie Whiteley who carelessly asked how many players I had. "Not many" I told her and asked if she'd like to play. "My goodness" she chuckled, "you must be really desperate, but if it helps I will."

The spectators were great and the collection for Magpas made £68.40, to which was added the £62 from The Red Lion Swear Box. A generous gesture. No-one will tell me whether the £62 came from swearing during one day. one week or one month. Just to underline the need for Magpas, the Doctor's son was knocked out in the last quarter. Everyone was terribly worried until that unfailing cure was offered - mouth to mouth resuscitation. At its first mention David Towriss jumped to his feet. The final score was an honourable 0-0 draw just in case no-one reports this small detail.

Alastair Everitt