Village Variety Show Review
TOP Hollywood star, the Pink Rabbit, stunned a Swaffham Prior audience when he
burst in as star guest at the Variety Show.
The towering 6ft-high bunny, who has taken America by storm, jetted in from LA to wow crowds packing the village hall for the annual feast of talent.
It was on the makeshift stage in the dimly-lit hall just a year ago that the
garrulous giant, dubbed "super bugs bunny" by his adoring fans, was
spotted by talent scouts and catapulted to international stardom.
With the ink barely dry on his first multi-millionpound record deal and film rights to his amazing ragsto- riches life-story about to be sold, the floppyeared performer went back to his roots.
Tireless variety show guru, Hilary Sage, claimed she was "lost for words" when the sunglasses-clad cony sprang his surprise at the end of a long night. Even she could not pass up the chance to star alongside the bobtailed beast.
"Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you!" she declared, determined to prove there was musical life in the old girl yet.
Those who had paid extortionate sums to secure a seat in the sell-out show
declared her "awesome". "Playing God was her finest hour,"
said one front-row fan after the final curtain call. "It's such a pity
she never made it big, like the Rabbit."
Had Simon Cowell’s scouts returned this year they could have signed up a bevy of new wannabes for the Pink Rabbit’s new TV series, Hop Idol.
Bowers beauties, Jemima and Hannah, wooed the crowd on piano and clarinet, Miriam Willmott left the audience gasping for more with her dulcet tones and Ryan Noyes' youthful voice inspired an appreciative crowd.
Making his acting debut, Martin Meade, was typecast in the role of hardhatted
construction mogul, Noah, who consistently failed to deliver. And Hilary? Well,
as they say, hell hath no fury . . . and although Hollywood may have overlooked
her Joyce Grenfelesque charms she was not about to let some jackrabbit steal
her show.
With the dexterity of an old pro – and the assistance of a handily-placed custard pie – she wiped the smile off his whiskered face.
Devoted fans queuing at the stage door for an autograph were later disappointed to discover that their pink idol had already been whisked away in a stretch limo, en route to his private jet which was sitting on the tarmac at Marshalls’ airport.
That left the stage clear for a wealth of other homegrown talent, including guitarists Andrew Noyes and Mark Lewinski, vocalist Kay Lewinski and “Three Little Maids” – Hilary Almond, Jan Pattinson and Tim Doe.
Talented four-year-old Alexander Jost, a tinselled star dangling from the end of his fishing line, revelled in the spotlight with a delightful performance of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
Kieren Raja and Matthew Hill caught the mood with their guitar ensemble, Brenda Wilson, Hilary Almond and young Chloe Northrop added humour with their superb recitals, and Bobby Matheson, a natural on stage, kept reminding the audience about that rabbit.
Finally, the vicar, Rev David Lewis, skilfully managed to avoid the attentions of an errant leprechaun and thanked everyone for turning out to make the night a success, raising funds for St Mary's Church.
Same again next year?