The Swaffham Crier Online

Village Variety Show

This was a great, great success. Perhaps some of us doubted the wealth of talent lurking behind the net curtains of our quiet village. I confess to a sinking feeling beforehand when told to expect a marathon three-hour experience, but there was a room full of friends, and a bar, so it could not be all bad. Well, we know better now! We were then treated to music and drama from solo performers, duos, trios and quartets, serious, seriously good, funny and very funny. There was no self-indulgent limelight hogging, not even by the pink rabbit. When it ended with a (literally) show-stopping rendition of "Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow", we were still shouting for more.

Singling out acts for mention is unfair on the others, and there is not enough space here to include them all. However, it would be unjust not to say that the younger performers were superb, so I shall. The phrase "something for everyone" must also be avoided because it suggests that not all performances were to everyone's taste, and I don't think that was so. For myself, I can say without fear of contradiction that I have not enjoyed myself so much since - - - well, I can't remember when.

Those able to let their excitement subside gently afterwards in the Pink Panther (lost its swimming costume in the deep end) marvelled at a thoroughly enjoyable experience, asking: "When's the next one? We want to be there". I nearly typed Pink Panda then, but that's a hairdresser's Fiat. (Jokes in the show were better than that, much better [Agreed - Eds.]).

Frank Readhead

An extract from one of Walter Morgan's songs from the evening

Now, my mama said I was a fool

To go and marry a

Man who couldn't buy me

A people carrier

And the neighbour says you use your car

As a ... thing extender

But it won't do you no good now

'Cos I've got my arse out to tender

I'm crying ... wow!

Oh Lord, please hand me down my shoppin' shoes

You can kiss goodbye to Janet Reger baby

Oo, Oo, whilst I have these 4x4 blues!